Well, he decided to go to Qwest this morning. I knew he would. That was a no-brainer. I was just hoping that he would change his mind. Of course he didn't change his mind! He'd be crazy to stay here. I told him this morning I was worried that he would leave me and that we wouldn't be together anymore if he left. I told him this morning I was worried about him. He said he has a tough decision to make today about here & Qwest.........Here's what we talked about:

free_naters_for_out_of_staters: Just have a tough decision to make today with here and Qwest
cndyaz2002: I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.
free_naters_for_out_of_staters: not sure what I want to do
cndyaz2002: YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU & YOUR KIDS.
free_naters_for_out_of_staters: I know what I NEED to do, but I'm not sure I want to go through with it
cndyaz2002: WHY NOT?
free_naters_for_out_of_staters: I have a lot to give up here if I leave. I'd be going over as an agent
cndyaz2002: YEAH, YOU WOULD GIVE UP A LOT HERE.
free_naters_for_out_of_staters: But I stand to gain a lot over there
cndyaz2002: YEAH YOU DO.
cndyaz2002: BUT COULD YOU "STAND" (FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD) BEING ON THE PHONES ALL THE TIME AGAIN?
free_naters_for_out_of_staters: That part has never bothered me
cndyaz2002: DO YOU HAVE MORE TO GAIN BY GOING OVER THERE THAN YOU HAVE STAYING HERE?
free_naters_for_out_of_staters: yeah, more money
free_naters_for_out_of_staters: better insurance
free_naters_for_out_of_staters: a chance for advancement
cndyaz2002: WELL, IF YOU HAVE MORE TO GAIN BY GOING OVER THERE, THEN, AS YOU SO LIKE TO SAY.........DON'T LET FEAR STOP YOU.
cndyaz2002: AND I KNOW YOU REALIZE HOW HARD THAT IS FOR ME TO SAY.
free_naters_for_out_of_staters: I do know how hard that is to say
cndyaz2002: I LOVE YOU.
free_naters_for_out_of_staters: I love you too
cndyaz2002: I KNOW YOU DO. I'M JUST AFRAID OF LOSING YOU WHEN YOU GO TO QWEST.
free_naters_for_out_of_staters: why?
cndyaz2002: I DON'T KNOW. I JUST AM.
cndyaz2002: I'M AFRAID I WON'T SEE YOU ANYMORE.
free_naters_for_out_of_staters: You shouldn't be afraid
cndyaz2002: MY BIGGEST FEAR IS LOSING YOU.
free_naters_for_out_of_staters: I know that, we can't worry about tomorrow, we can only make the most of today.
cndyaz2002: I KNOW. I'VE MADE THE MOST OF ALL OF OUR TODAYS.
cndyaz2002: AT LEAST I HOPE SO!
free_naters_for_out_of_staters: We have together
free_naters_for_out_of_staters: brb
cndyaz2002: I KNOW WE HAVE.
cndyaz2002: OK.
free_naters_for_out_of_staters: I'm back
cndyaz2002: K...I'M WORKING ON SOMETHING I'M SENDING YOU.
cndyaz2002: NOTHING BAD, JUST TELLING YOU HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE TO ME.
free_naters_for_out_of_staters: k
free_naters_for_out_of_staters: You're acting like you are never going to see me again......Why?
cndyaz2002: THAT'S THE ONE THING I AM TRULY AFRAID OF IF YOU DECIDE TO GO TO QWEST.
cndyaz2002: THAT HAS BEEN MY BIGGEST FEAR SINCE YOU TOLD ME YOU APPLIED.
free_naters_for_out_of_staters: why?
cndyaz2002: HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW.
cndyaz2002: THAT'S WHAT'S GOT ME SO BAFFLED.
cndyaz2002: I'VE TALKED TO BRIAN ABOUT IT AND HE KEEPS TELLING ME THAT WE HAVE TOO MUCH FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO HAPPEN. I JUST DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU. YOU'RE THE BEST THING THAT'S HAPPENED IN MY LIFE AND I'D GIVE ANYTHING TO KEEP YOU.

And that's where it sat for a while. He went back to the SLOB desk to watch the queue. I ended up there about 11:30 and told him I was worried. He told me I have nothing to worry about. He told me "No more worries...No more boobie face. I'm not gonna stop POUNDING you." :) I am relieved, but still scared. I'm still scared that I'm gonna lose him. I guess we will just have to take it a day at a time. It's like he said.......We can't worry about tomorrow, we can only make the most of today. So, I won't. I'll just appreciate what today brings and not worry about tomorrow. ¶ 12:34:00 PM