WHAT THE FUK WAS I WORRYING ABOUT??????? He's not going to leave me when he goes to Qwest!!! WTF?! Anyway......I've finally got that through my thick head! We had an AWESOME time today!! And I've still got my head! It's not "blown" off! :-) (You ought to like that General!!!) I'm tired now tho. FUK! We weren't even in the door 2 minutes before we were in the bedroom naked. It was GREAT! We got it ON!!! It was FAN-FUKN-TASTIC!!

I got him a card last night and gave it to him just a little bit ago. It was a funny card, but on the inside I wrote the following:

PERFECTION IN MY EYES
All I ever wanted was to be a part of your heart. And for us to be together, to never be apart. No one else in the world can even compare. You're perfect and so is this love that we share. We have so much more than I ever thought we would. I love you more than I ever thought I could. I promise to give you all I have to give. I'll do anything for you -- as long as I live. In your eyes I see our present, our future and past. By the way you look at me, I know we will last. I hope that one day you'll come to realize, how perfect you are when seen through my eyes.

This is the response I got from him when I asked him if he got it........
Nate 2: Yes I did
Nate 2: I love you
cndyaz2002: I LOVE YOU TOO.
cndyaz2002: IN MY EYES, YOU ARE PERFECT.
Nate 2: It almost made me cry
Nate 2: Almost.......

That made me feel good. :) I then continued the conversation......
cndyaz2002: DO YOU REALIZE JUST HOW DEPENDANT I AM ON YOU?
Nate 2: yes I do
cndyaz2002: I LOVE YOU, WITH EVERYTHING I HAVE.
cndyaz2002: I'LL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU, AS LONG AS I LIVE.
cndyaz2002: I'VE NEVER BEEN AS DEPENDANT ON ANYONE LIKE I AM DEPENDANT ON YOU.
cndyaz2002: IT SCARES ME SOMETIMES.
cndyaz2002: BUT I LOVE THE FEELING BEING DEPENDANT ON YOU GIVES ME.
cndyaz2002: SORRY, I'M RAMBLING.
cndyaz2002: I'LL BE QUIET NOW.
Nate 2: No baby.....I completely understand where you're coming from
cndyaz2002: I'M JUST FRIGHTENED SOMETIMES.
Nate 2: I know
Nate 2: the future is a scary thing
cndyaz2002: I KNOW IT IS.
cndyaz2002: BUT IT'S SOMETHING I DON'T WANNA GIVE UP EITHER.
cndyaz2002: I DON'T WANT TO STOP BEING DEPENDANT ON YOU.
Nate 2: Well.....all we can do is live for tomorrow and be thankful for today

I am thankful for every one of our todays! I cherish them like they are the last day we will ever spend together. I love every minute we spend together. Today we just cuddled in bed for like 30 minutes and it was great. We fit together so perfectly. And I mean that in every sense of the word. :) He is an amazing person and I don't know where I'd be without him. He has allowed me to experience something very hard to find -- unconditional love. Love I never thought I would find. He has opened my heart to love and the wonders it can do. I dream of the day I can say I do. To be his wife -- to be together for life. It is a dream I have -- every night. Having him in my life completes me. ¶ 3:46:00 PM