Well, I spent the entire weekend in BED! I was sicker than a dog. I went to the hospital Sunday night bcuz my chest felt very tight and I was having a hard time breathing. Spent a few hours there and found out I had an upper respiratory infection. EW! That sucked! Dr. said I would feel worse before I would start to feel better. He wrote me a prescription for antibiotics & I was on my way. I felt like HELL! I stayed home on Monday, doctors orders. It was a good thing too, because I wouldn't have done any good at work. My head was pounding, I had hot & cold flashes, & overall felt like dog crap run over! :) Is there a better way to explain it?? I think not. Anyway, I slept most of Monday and since Tuesday was my day off, I decided I better spent it in bed too....Just to make sure I don't get any worse. I went out for a few hours on Tuesday, but spent most of it in bed too. Best make sure I don't get feeling any worse...which I didn't. YAY!

I came into work on Wednesday, feeling like crap still....but needed to be there. I couldn't afford not to be!!! I got permission from the boss to leave if I needed to, but every time I tried we were so busy I just decided to stay & help out. I made it til 7, went home, took my medicine & it knocked me out! YAY!

Thursday sucked ass! I hate him!!! I hate him!!! I hate him!!! I hate him!!! I hate him!!! I hate him!!! No, I still love him....but I hate what he is doing to me. I don't know how I'm going to live w/o him in my life, but I'm a survivor. I will survive & move on!!! He came to me yesterday & told me people quit over our relationship. I think it's BS, but that's just my opinion. He knew what we were getting into. I just don't think he realized it to it's full extent. I will miss him. He's my soulmate. The only one in this world that is PERFECT for me, but ....... I can't live like this anymore. I won't either. My life, my pride, my world is going good right now. And no one is going to mess it up....no one but me, that is. :) I sat at worked and cried for a good 30 minutes. I can't believe he hurt me. He promised me he never would. But I guess ..... I don't know .... Maybe it wasn't meant to be. At least not now. Maybe another time. I know he is my SOULMATE, but not at this point in our lives. I will always love him. That will never be a question in my mind, my heart or my soul. But I can't put my life on hold for him....not any more. I've got too much I want to do and too much on the line. Ok....enough of that......on to better things.

I went out with a friend last night. I helped him babysit for a few hours....watched Biker Boyz...one I haven't seen yet. Turned out to be a pretty good movie. Very comparable to Th Fast & The Furious, but on bikes. Very good movie. Went out to dinner after the movie and after the baby's mom got home. Went to Winger's.....HAD A FUCKING BLAST!!!!! I haven't laughed that hard in a VERY long time. And we laughed over RANCH, of all things. I'll tell you what...I'll never think of Ranch the same way again! OMG!!! I had tears in my eyes, my gut hurt and my face hurt from laughing so damn hard. We went back to his place and put in another movie....Again, one I haven't seen before....The Italian Job. OUTSTANDING movie. One I would watch again. It was nothing like I expected it to be, which made it even better!

RANCH?! Of all things to laugh over. It's amazing how many sick & twisted things 2 people can come up with to do with Ranch.

And I'll leave it at that! :) ¶ 9:08:00 AM