Spent the day thinking about Nate...why? I dunno. Prolly bcuz I'm in love with the man! ARGH! Why do I have to be in love with someone I want to spend the rest of my life with knowing full well I can't be with him?? Kind of a long question, eh? Ah well, such is life. I know we were meant for each other, but we can't be together -- not like I want to be together. And it's hard knowing this and still continue to be with Nate. The more I want him, the more I know I can't have him 100%. I want to be able to fix him breakfast in the morning. I want to be able to fix him dinner in the evening. I want to be able to come home to him every night. I want that man in my bed every night. And not just for sex, albeit as much as we like it, we'd lose 20 lbs. in the first week from doing it so much! :) LMMFAO That would ROCK! hehehe Anyway, back on track now! (As hard as it is to pull away from the subject of sex!) ARGH! lol I want him to be my husband. Until the day that I die. I don't want anyone else. Ya see my problem here??? Whatthemutherfuk do I do? Any ideas? Let me know!!

This song sums it all up:

If You're Not The One

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms?

NEED I SAY MORE? ¶ 5:40:00 PM